But even till the end of his life, he'll bring a little love...

From March of the Black Queen.

It's past 12 here - Happy Turkey Day! OK, now that's out of the way...

Nov. 24 was the 13th anniversary of Freddie Mercury's death. I was going to write more tonight, but I'm tired, so I'll post tomorrow night. I leave you with this:

Wasn't he beautiful?

Cheery bye, Scarlett

//Listening to:
Bo Rhap

What a way, what a way to make it through...

From Wild Child by Enya. :)

Argh, another bad night. I'm feeling a tiny bit better, though. My depression has lifted a bit, so I'm not as down as I'd been feeling, which is a good sign that the med I'm on at the moment will eventually help with the OCD side of things. I haven't been doing much, cos I don't see any reason to change a lifetime habit. ;) I sent my deferrment letter off to UMD and am hoping that they get back to me soon.

I just got an invitation to some "alumni lunch" thing at my old high school. My class hasn't even been out for a year yet, but then the school is only about five years old, so I guess they take whoever they can get. Anyway, at the bottom of the postcard you're supposed to fill out and return, it says "School Attending:___". It hit me weird, for some reason. What am I supposed to say? "Nowhere at the moment"? I suppose it rubbed me the wrong way because all throughout my senior year, it was just about beaten into our heads that we *had* to get into college and begin *right away* or else the rest of our lives would be crap. This is not so, of course. And anyway, I was accepted for the spring semester, so I couldn't quite get started straight away. And it's not as though I'm not in college at the moment because I choose not to be - I can't even go out of the house.

I guess I feel like there's no allowance for human fallibility when it comes to school. Everyone tells me that college is not like high school, and seeing how we didn't have to go any insanity to start the deferrment process (insane rigmarole is standard for getting anything done in high/grade school), I'm beginning to believe it. But I still have that feeling that the school (UMD, my old high school, whatever) will look down on me, not believe that I'm actually miserable, will think that I should be trying harder to "get better", that I'm not good enough... Probably the same insecurities a lot of people have. Sorry for being so self-indulgent here, that was a pretty vain ramble!

OK, on to more amusing things. My current quandry (aside from... well, everything else) is that I can't find my The Best of What's Left Of Not Only... But Also tape, which makes me increasingly more sad each day. What's more, my main bra is missing as well. My mom was wondering where my bra was, and I mentioned how I also hadn't been able to find my NOBA tape, and we came up with a theory: Not Only... But Also is somewhere in my room, cavorting with my brassiere. It's a funny thought. We're also worried that my Bedazzled (1967) tape will steal away with a pair of my undies, so we're keeping it - and the undies - under close surveillance. OK, it's silly, but even the stupidest things can make one laugh when one is feeling yucky, y'know?

While I'm on the subject of NOBA etc., I found a lovely photo of Peter Cook while I was doing "research" for my Blackadder page (more on that later) at The Establishment, where you can find a whole wealth of stuff about Cook's career (and even download NOBA sketches, yay!). I've only downloaded one sketch, and must get round to downloading the other ones available. Why the BBC hasn't come out with a spanglified DVD with all the surviving sketches from NOBA is beyond me. They're a very silly bunch, that BBC. Anyways, the sketch I downloaded is The Cobblin' Goblin. *tee hee hee* I was muchly amused, so do yourself a favor and download some quality comedy today. I also downloaded an audio file of One Leg Too Few recently (I did this because my mom actually remembers seeing the skit at some point in the 70s). I didn't think it'd be funny without actually seeing what's going on, but it was hilarious! I wish someone would release the old audio sketches on CD... ah well...

I'm currently in the process of mega-updating my Blackadder site. For about two years now, I've been saying I was going to do a Guest Actor page, similar to the detailed page I did about the regular cast. At the moment I'm knee-deep in guest actors and information and it's really, really turning into a bigger thing than I thought it would be. WHY did Blackadder have to have so many famous people on the show? Why? The weird thing is how every guest actor is connected in some way - most through Doctor Who, which is cool. But putting all that information together on one page (it'll probably spill over to two pages or more) is, to say the least, a bit annoying. The main problem is sorting out who should be on the page. There are some obvious guest stars that will be on the page - Peter Cook, Tom Baker, Simon Jones, Chris Barrie, etc. - but the lesser-known actors are bugging me. Because it seems that Blackadder employed a lot of actors who were famous before they were on the show, or found fame much later, or aren't really that famous at all but had a good role on Blackadder. Wish me luck while I sort all this out. At least I'm doing something mildly productive! :)

Cheery bye, Scarlett


//Listening to: Pax Deorum (Enya)

Please feel dree to get stuffed. / How does one contact Dree?

That quote almost caused me to laugh REALLY loudly during Digital Arts last spring. I must have looked odd, cos I was trying to not laugh but was shaking as one does when one's trying not to laugh. I guess you had to be there. It was a mind-numbingly boring class... it just hit me really funny. I must have been having a really slow day... Here's the quote in full:

The REGENERATIVE Website wrote:
>> Dear Reader,

>> If you have time please feel free to check out this site.

Ruediger LANDMANN wrote:
>Dear Dave,

>Please feel dree to get stuffed.

Dear Ruediger,

How does one contact Dree?

Danny Gooley 27/5/99

Ooh, I went out today - a bookstore. I know, it's amazing, I actually went out of the house. Not before having a small panic attack, of course, because it would probably upset the laws of the universe if I should actually do something *normal*. Speaking of the laws of the universe, I got The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, have started reading it, and am really enjoying it. As if I weren't geeky *enough* just being a Doctor Who fan. ;) You know, I could go on about the Douglas Adams/Who connection, but I'm not going to. Well, I'm not going to for very long. He was the script editor for Season 17, which gave us that gem, City of Death, written by Adams and, I think, Who legend Robert Holmes. I might be wrong, but I don't have my programme guide handy, and I've just really made myself out to look like a sad, sad fan by admitting that I have a programme guide. Anyways, he also wrote The Pirate Planet (never really liked that one much, actually...) and SHADA (you have to say it like that, too, or else it loses some of the... um... well, I was gonna say "coolness" but that might not be the right word) - the great story that never was. Long story short, it was never completed due to a strike at the BBC, and what was filmed was released on video in the early 90s with linking bits by Tom Baker. Fun stuff.

So... hmm, there was no real point to all of that. Sorry.

I changed the layout at my old, dead Josh Groban site so that I don't have to update it again for a long time. I came to the realization, some time ago, that most of his music was treacly doots that attempted to be classical but it comes off as an irritating hybrid of easy listening and new age. I did like the one that sounded vaguely Irish - it even had uillean pipes in there somewhere, I think... Anyways, I liked it for a while, enough to make a site about it, but I think part of the reason why I "liked" the music and even made a site about it was that I was starting to really go downhill with my previous obsession and needed something to concentrate on, no matter how doots it was. I lost interest in both the site and the Josh and put a notice on the site a long while ago that I'm no longer updating it. Apparently there are really, really thick people who just don't get it and insist on emailing me to ask silly questions. I love it when I get questions that I specifically answer on the site. That's fun.

Anyways, my point is that I'm no longer updating the site, but people still visit it, so I've left it online. (I do hope I'm not offending the people who still visit it by, er, insulting them.) When I stopped updating it however long ago it was now, I was happy with the layout, but recently I felt that it had become a blight on lunaestas.com's good (made-up) name. It was pig doots. So, I've come up with a new layout that I'm happy with, because even though I don't care that much about the site, I still want it to look nice. Hmm, that was rather long-winded, wasn't it? If you want to, take a look at the site, but I beg of you - do NOT ask me for lyrics. Are people really so thick that they can't just search for the lyrics on Google? That's where I got the lyrics that *are* on the site.

Ah, I must have a little rant right about now, because I just remembered that I was going to rant a bit. I was checking to see if the links to other Josh sites on my link list were still up (quite a few are gone or haven't been updated for a few years), and I looked a bit at one of the sites that was still up. It had a poll asking "Who will you vote for?" and dagnabbit, it looks like a lot of Josh fans are Bush supporters. There were comments too, on the poll (some polls allow commenting, cool feature) - dumb, brainwashed comments... It scares me how (and let me be frank here) stupid, fanatic, and GULLIBLE people can be. One must only listen (if you can even stand to) to the guy, look at him slouch, watch him walk like he's either in a bad Western or just drying his deodorant, to know the fear that one can only feel when they realize that our country is being run by a total goober. A rather insane goober.

...

And he choked on a pretzel.

Cheery bye, Scarlett




//Listening to:
Music - Deep Dish Dot Com Remix (Madonna)

From a comment on Eschaton -

...the only way to make it thru 4 more years of Bush is Jon Stewart and a steady diet of cartoons.

Amen to that. :)

Cheery bye, Scarlett


//Listening to:
American Life [Felix da Housecat's Devin Dazzle Club Mix]
Yes, I am aware of the irony of listening to American Life at a time like this. ;)

My melancholy blues...

Another party's over
And I'm left cold sober
My baby left me for somebody new
I don't wanna talk about it
Want to forget about it
Wanna be intoxicated with that special brew
So come and get me
Let me
Get in that sinking feeling
That says my heart is on an all time low - so
Don't expect me
To behave perfectly
And wear that sunny smile
My guess is I'm in for a cloudy and overcast
Don't try and stop me
'Cause I'm heading for that stormy weather soon
I'm causing a mild sensation
With this new occupation
I'm permanently glued
To this extraordinary mood, so now move over
And let me take over
With my melancholy blues

I'm causing a mild sensation
With this new occupation
I'm in the news
I'm just getting used to my new exposure
Come into my enclosure
And meet my melancholy blues

---- My Melancholy Blues (Queen, News of the World)

Well. This was an interesting day, wasn't it? I had another bad night where I never went to sleep, so I was sort of in a daze when I went to vote (for the first time ever!) this morning. I was awake enough, though, to poke the John Kerry/John Edwards box on the touch screen thing proudly... The rest of the day, however, has left something to be desired. (I know I'm typing this after 5 am, but I'm having another bad night, so to me it still seems like daytime.) As I watch the coverage of the election, I grow more and more nauseous and absolutely amazed that Bush seems to be winning. I mean, in the back of my mind during this whole *thing*, I've kind of thought that it really shouldn't be such a surprise if Bush wins - there are such overzealous people stupid enough out there to support him and vote for him, and his campaign has been focused on getting them all worked up to go out and vote. And they did. Damn.

I'm hoping against hope that something happens with the numbers that gives Kerry a lead, that gives him *something*. Watching the results has really made me feel sick - and depressed. The only good thing, if Bush is reelected, is that he can't run again after he serves out his term. Unless he wants to pass a law that will let him serve for more than eight years, which I wouldn't put past him.

Sorry for being so negative, but golly - this is a really negative time.

All right, on to other topics. No news on the OCD front yet. I'm growing continually [bleeping] miserable, but that's not really news... I'm terribly frustrated and angry at my inability to function and that anger and frustration just produces stress, which doesn't help matters at all... But I've been keeping busy with online stuff - as evidenced by my newest online endeavor:

Some Kind of Blends

Some Kind of Blends, a Kylie Mingoue-only blend challenge site, huzzah! The title is a play on Kylie's song Some Kind of Bliss. I'm such a dork, aren't I? ;) This isn't that big of a deal unless you're into either blends or Kylie, but I thought I'd mention it anyway. I hope it gets an entry or two! One can always hope... "A good, solid hope is worth a cartload of certainties" - my favorite quote ever, from Doctor Who. Which is kind of funny, seeing as it's the same show that gave us (ok, gave Who fans) the immortal "No, not the mind probe!". Anyways...

Cheery bye, Scarlett

//Listening to:
Tightrope (Kylie Minogue)