Doctor Who: David's New Adventures

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season one - CARRION

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"'Ere, stop messing a boot!"

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"A large what, madam?"

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Carrion
Written by David Barnes
Directed by David Barnes
Starring David Barnes
6 episodes


Fluffs: Kenneth Williams: "'Ere, stop messing a boot!"

The Doctor briefly forgets his lines when taking the microwave out of his pocket.

Goofs: How can you possibly impale yourself on a plunger? How can you possibly put a microwave into your pocket? How could you possibly mistake the said microwave for a tape-recorder? Why doesn't the Doctor buy a portable CD player rather than an old-fashioned tape player?

Barbara Windsor doesn’t show off her breasts enough in my view (and try and imagine the Doctors' reaction to being in the presence of a topless Barbara Windsor! Priceless!)

Double Entendres: "Have you got a large one?" and the like is said at least 15 times every episode.

Technobabble: "Kamelion, use your quasi-matrix skimmer-scannery tropper to change into a clown!"

Fashion Victims: Kamelion dressed as a clown. The Doctor is in a skirt at one point. This is a Carry On spoof after all!

Dialogue disasters:

The Doctor does an absolutely feeble Kenneth Williams impression.

Kamelion: "A large what, madam?"

"Well, what are you all standing here for? Carry on!"

Dialogue triumphs:

Kenneth Williams: "I was once a weak man!"
Barbara Windsor: "Well once a week is enough for any man!"

Barbara Windsor: "Have you got a large one?"
Doctor: "I beg your pardon madam?"
Barbara Windsor: "A large intellect?"
Doctor: "Oh...."

The Doctor takes his sonic screwdriver from his pocket, which prompts Barbara Windsor to say "Oh, look at that big one you've got there!" This results in the Doctor almost dropping the sonic screwdriver in embarrassment.

Barbara: "Would you like a quick one?"
Doctor: "Um...er, no thankyou....ahem...."
Kenneth: "Suit yourself ducky...."
This scene takes place in the bar by the way!

Basically, anytime the Doctor gets embarrassed or any line spoken by Charles Hawtrey!

Continuity:

Apparently, Kamelion was an entertainment device, programmed to look like famous clowns. He was called to Xeriphas to entertain the diplomats at the Xeriphan- Mandrel peace conference. When Kamelion accidentally threw a pie at the leader Mandrel, a war started and Kamelion was used to impersonate angry clowns. It was after the Vardon-Koznax war, when Kamelion was used to infiltrate bases impersonating Charlie Chaplin, when the Master found Kamelion, sitting in a cupboard, impersonating Binky.

June Whitfield wanted to appear in more Carry On films and so started murdering the stars of the Carry Ons so she would then be given top billing. She impales Barbara Windsor on a plunger, Terry Scott drowns in a bottle of gin, Kenneth Williams falls into a vat of molten custard and Joan Simms is squashed by a falling elephant. June wishes to kill Professor Hawtrey with a blunt shoe but is stopped by the Doctor and Kamelion before she can commit this act.

The Doctor doesn't like nudity. He gets very embarrassed when a person isn't "properly dressed". This causes Barbara Windsor much amusement until she gets killed in part 2.

Links: References to Time-Flight, the Kings Demons, Carry On Camping, Carry On Girls, Carry On Up the Khyber and Carry On Emmannuelle.

Location: A spooky house, somewhere.

Untelevised adventures: The Doctor has met Tony Hancock before.

The Bottom Line: "Oh helloooo!" This is a hilarious story, most of the humour involving the Doctor's reactions to Barbara Windsor earlier on and then involving Kenneth Williams and Charles Hawtrey teaming up to find the murderer. Kamelion even gets a few funny lines too. All in all, a cracking adventure!


 

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